Successful update on managing terrible two's

Last week I wrote about my little girl Poppy here and how she seemed to be just starting the terrible two's only two months before she turns three.  I described how in two weeks she had turned from a little angel to a monster.

I had looked at possible reasons for it and could not see how we were doing anything differently: no change to routine, no new friends, no less attention etc. She had become a nightmare at the table, refused to eat, had started to kick (Mummy, Daddy, Sister and sofa!) and was generally becoming a pain in the bottom!

My little monster

I told you that our plans for managing it were to use the naughty cushion, no cartoons or no ipad story's.  No other punishments or threats.  We were just going to be extra strict and very consistent.

We also told Poppy that "bad girls got nothing and have to sit on the naughty cushion but good girls get lots of things".  We talked about these things being anything from play dates, trips out, presents, nice snacks etc.

Well so far so good.  It took three days of being extra strict and consistent for her behaviour to change. During those three days she spent a lot of time on the naughty cushion, didn't eat much, didn't get to watch much TV, had quite a few tantrums, lots of crying and screaming but that was it! After three whole days of this, she told me she wanted to be a good girl.  Since then she has been pretty good.  We have had no more kicking incidents, she has been much better behaved, she is eating again, behaving at the table and she has not sat on the naughty cushion once.

My little Angel

We have been giving her lots of positive feedback when she is good.  for example when I say goodnight and give her a kiss I might say "thank you for being such a good girl today, we had a lovely day didn't we?" etc.  She keeps telling me and anyone else who will listen that "good girls get lots of things but bad girls get nothing and have to sit on the naughty cushion" She says it in a voice that is happy when talking about the good girl and sad when talking about the bad girl!

So it seems to have sunk in.  We are going to stick to being consistent. I do not expect her to be a little Angel always, after all she is a child and testing boundaries is part of the job description. However, we seem to be managing it okay now.  I was really worried it was going to get out of control and her Sister would copy.  I really did not want that to happen.

Thanks for all your comments and feedback on the last post and watch this space.  Will bring regular updates!

Karen x

Terrible Two's..Nightmare!

This post should have done better!!

Thanks to TheBoyAndMe I am getting another chance to show it off.  If you have a post that you think could have or should have done better then head over to her blog!

For those of you who follow me via twitter, you may already have noticed that I am having a little bit of trouble with my eldest daughter.

Poppy is 3 in July.  She has always been a little angel.  Slept through the night (7pm-7am) by four months, took to food like a duck takes to water, has always eaten anything I put in front of her (except Brussels) and generally been a pleasure to be around.  A gorgeous happy baby, a content toddler but in the past two weeks she seems to have turned into a MONSTER!!!!

I have asked myself the question what has changed, what are we doing differently, but the answer is absolutely  nothing.

There has been no change to her routine, Husband and I get on well so there are no problems at home, she has not started any new group's, attends the same Nursery one day a week and we continue to attend all the groups she enjoys and have play dates with the same friends. She does not eat any junk food or sweets so I am battling my brains for a reason for this behaviour.

So how is she behaving differently? Well she has started to become very defiant and stroppy..a bit like a teenager.  It can be about anything from me wanting to get her dressed and she doesn't want to, to she wants the cartoons on and I say no!  She will scream, shout, kick and generally cause a scene.  Luckily for me it is only when at home so far.  The kicking is very new but she has kicked her baby Sister twice, as well as both parents and the sofa.  She has also started doing lots of baby talk when she has an excellent vocabulary for a 2 year old.  I find this difficult because we don't do the whole baby talk thing ourselves we don't say "bubba", "doggy woggy" etc so she is not copying the way we talk to Rosie. She also does this annoying pretend crying. Oh and she has suddenly lost her appetite so mealtimes are not anywhere as pleasurable as they once were. All in all, she is being a complete pain!

What are we doing about it? Luckily, Husband and I are on the same wavelength and respond in the same way. We watched quite a bit of Super Nanny when I was pregnant! We have always had a very consistent approach to bringing up our girls. We make sure that we follow through on any threats, support each other and do the same thing. This means for Poppy: the naughty cushion, not let her have cartoons after her bath (she only has them on first thing in the morning and for the bedtime hour), or if Daddy is around for bedtime she may not allowed an ipad story (something he sometimes does with her and she loves). I will do a review on them at some point. We are also praising her when she is good and tell her regularly that good girls get lots of things (ie treats, trips out etc.) and bad girls get nothing.

However, even though we have a plan and stick to it, it is still not easy.  I have to try really hard to be calm and patient and not shout back as I do not want to be the kind of Mum that screams at her children.  I get down to her level and explain that "...is not acceptable behaviour and we do not do that/behave that way in our house" but inside I just want to scream " aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh do it because I say so!"

A few ladies on twitter answered my cry for help and told me it is an age thing.  They recommended books on disciple (which I am ordering) and reward charts.  Apparently sticker reward charts are so 90's and they do an iphone app so we are going to trial this and will let you know the results.  Any other advice would be gladly welcomed!

I am seriously hoping my little Angel comes back soon but in the meantime watch this space on how we are managing it!

Karen x
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