User-agent: * Allow: /. Would Like To Be A Yummy Mummy: Terrible Two's..Nightmare!

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Terrible Two's..Nightmare!

This post should have done better!!

Thanks to TheBoyAndMe I am getting another chance to show it off.  If you have a post that you think could have or should have done better then head over to her blog!

For those of you who follow me via twitter, you may already have noticed that I am having a little bit of trouble with my eldest daughter.

Poppy is 3 in July.  She has always been a little angel.  Slept through the night (7pm-7am) by four months, took to food like a duck takes to water, has always eaten anything I put in front of her (except Brussels) and generally been a pleasure to be around.  A gorgeous happy baby, a content toddler but in the past two weeks she seems to have turned into a MONSTER!!!!

I have asked myself the question what has changed, what are we doing differently, but the answer is absolutely  nothing.

There has been no change to her routine, Husband and I get on well so there are no problems at home, she has not started any new group's, attends the same Nursery one day a week and we continue to attend all the groups she enjoys and have play dates with the same friends. She does not eat any junk food or sweets so I am battling my brains for a reason for this behaviour.

So how is she behaving differently? Well she has started to become very defiant and stroppy..a bit like a teenager.  It can be about anything from me wanting to get her dressed and she doesn't want to, to she wants the cartoons on and I say no!  She will scream, shout, kick and generally cause a scene.  Luckily for me it is only when at home so far.  The kicking is very new but she has kicked her baby Sister twice, as well as both parents and the sofa.  She has also started doing lots of baby talk when she has an excellent vocabulary for a 2 year old.  I find this difficult because we don't do the whole baby talk thing ourselves we don't say "bubba", "doggy woggy" etc so she is not copying the way we talk to Rosie. She also does this annoying pretend crying. Oh and she has suddenly lost her appetite so mealtimes are not anywhere as pleasurable as they once were. All in all, she is being a complete pain!

What are we doing about it? Luckily, Husband and I are on the same wavelength and respond in the same way. We watched quite a bit of Super Nanny when I was pregnant! We have always had a very consistent approach to bringing up our girls. We make sure that we follow through on any threats, support each other and do the same thing. This means for Poppy: the naughty cushion, not let her have cartoons after her bath (she only has them on first thing in the morning and for the bedtime hour), or if Daddy is around for bedtime she may not allowed an ipad story (something he sometimes does with her and she loves). I will do a review on them at some point. We are also praising her when she is good and tell her regularly that good girls get lots of things (ie treats, trips out etc.) and bad girls get nothing.

However, even though we have a plan and stick to it, it is still not easy.  I have to try really hard to be calm and patient and not shout back as I do not want to be the kind of Mum that screams at her children.  I get down to her level and explain that " not acceptable behaviour and we do not do that/behave that way in our house" but inside I just want to scream " aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh do it because I say so!"

A few ladies on twitter answered my cry for help and told me it is an age thing.  They recommended books on disciple (which I am ordering) and reward charts.  Apparently sticker reward charts are so 90's and they do an iphone app so we are going to trial this and will let you know the results.  Any other advice would be gladly welcomed!

I am seriously hoping my little Angel comes back soon but in the meantime watch this space on how we are managing it!

Karen x
ShowOff Showcase


  1. Obviously Mads is only 5 months so I don't have any experience of any of this yet but I have heard through friends that reward charts work really well. Definately might be worth giving them a go! I am sure it is just a phase and she will go back to being an angel soon! x

  2. Oh Hun I know it must be so hard. I find the book what to expect in the toddler years is quite useful. They don't teach you how to manage this anywhere do they and it is like having a teenager who cannot communicate their needs or wishes. Frustrating for all concerned . It will pass! Good luck x

  3. Oh my God it is letting me comment now.  Aaron lately cries to get his own way.  When I was washing dishes he wanted to open the cupboard under the sink.  I wouldn't give in so after 10 mins of crying he went and did something else.  I know if I gave in, next time he'd got 15 mins as he'd think it worked last time, but now hope he won't try again. Husband and I are trying to be same.

    Sounds like you've done all that already so must be a terrible twos phase.

    The baby talk sounds like attention seeking though, so she must feel she needs some for some reason

    Liska xxx

  4. To be honest I do believe consistency is the key.  We have been extra strict and consistent since writing this post and she has been an angel for the past 3 days! It must be an age thing and testing boundaries.  Any feedback is welcomed though as I know she won't always be good!!

  5. Reluctant Housedad28 May 2011 at 15:15

    It's hard work, isn't it? Can really relate to your post. Our youngest didn't have the Terrible Two's. He saved them up for the Terrible Three's, so now he's bigger, stronger, louder - and so are his tantrums! Get a padded cell and put them in there til they calm down. It works for us :)

  6. Thank you, this did make me giggle! Mine is approaching three and its starting now so very similar to yours!

  7. My two year old has been in stroppy teenager mode for months now. At nursery last week she was angry as I picked her up as they were going to soft play and started screaming and stamping her feet. 'Mummy you very naughty girl' at the top of her voice. The nursery staff were shocked, apparently she is all nice and sweet with them!

    We are trying to be really firm with her and sticking to our guns. There has been lots of naughty steps and trips to her room. My little boy was an angel in comparison. :-)

    I hope it gets better soon. xx

  8. My son has been experiencing the terrible twos for the last three months now and he is not even two yet!. It's so frustrating isn't it, for them and us! I hate it, it does my head right in. I will be glad when it passes. Still I guess it will be worse once they are teenagers!
    Ps. My show off show case post is about same subject :)

  9. @somethingblue_229 May 2011 at 11:30

    Ah the terrible two's indeed, I have these to look forward to! Sounds as though you are handling everything the right way, it's fantastic that you and your husband are united in your approach to discipline as otherwise it can cause problems. I know it must be very frustrating - I suggest a large glass of wine and a few chocolates once the kids are in bed! 

  10. Drawing on my paedagogical knowledge here as a primary teacher and a nursery nurse (not as a mummy because The Boy is not yet 2) there are probably two reasons for this. One is that it's the same thing as the 'terrible twos'; she's finding a new range of abilities and is testing them out, whilst struggling with the new-found emotions that come with this, and also wanting you to set strict boundaries because she might be struggling with this new confidence. Another thought is that apparently older children can 'regress' (sounds derogatory but not intended that way) when a younger sibling comes along. It's why they don't recommend potty training just before the birth of a new child.

    Does that help with the child psychology bit?

    thanks for linking up to ShowOff ShowCase.

  11. Thanks for taking a look and commenting.  I think you are right.  Am going to do an update this week as she has responded really well to us being extra strict this week. The regressing bit with baby talk etc could be because Rosie gets lots of attention for trying to talk so maybe she tries it for the same attention!  Thanks for giving us the opportunity to show this post off again!